December 2009
38 posts
Party invites
Why didn’t you invite me to your party?
I did.I guess your invitation got lost in the mail.
i dont need your issues
Cancel my subscriptions.I don’t need your issues.
When someone expects you to have all the info
Do I look like I sit 8 hours a day behind a round table in a shopping mall?
No,why?
Then what makes you think I’d have the information?
Beat it!
Would you like your eggs sunny side up?
Huh?No,why?
Then beat it!
When someone's dressed like a slut
Is it halloween already?
No,why?
Then why are you dressed like a slut?
When someone raises their voice
Am I deaf?
No, why?
Then why are you shouting to me?
When someone is being quiet
Are we in a library?
No,why?
Why are you being all quiet?
When someone tries to sneak out
Are you Rapunzel?
No, why?
Then why are you coming out from your window?
When someone's acting all sad
Are you still a kid?
No,why?
Then why are you acting like you still need a happy meal(mcd)?
When someone is not talking
Are you mute?
No, why?
Then why aren’t you talking?
When someone tweets 24/7
Are you a bird?
No, why?
Then why won’t you stop tweeting?
When you won't stop crying
Are you a newborn baby?
No, why?
Then why won’t you stop crying?
When someone blew you off
Did I look like a lighted candle?
No,why?
Then why did you blow me off?
When someone says you're hot
Is it summer?
No, why?
Then why are you so hot?
When someone's playing you
Do i look like a deck of cards?
No,why?
Then why are you playing me?
Whose place
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine
Stupid
I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
Get out
I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
When someone's hitting on your boyfriend
Do you have any violent tendencies?
No,why?
Then why are you hitting on him?
When you can't get over someone
Are you a midget?
No, why?
Then get over him!
When someone's blocking your shot from getting a...
Are you a goalie?
No,why?
Then why are you blocking my shot?
When someone expects you to follow them
Is my name V?
No,why?
Then why would I follow U?
When someone's being a freak
Did you just join the circus?
No,why?
Then why are you acting like a total freak?
When someone checks you out
Are you a cashier?
No, why?
Then why are you checking me out?
When someone's keeping a secret from you
Do I look like a vampire?
No,why?
Then why are you keeping me in the dark?
When someone thinks you're rushing
Do I look like I’m from Russia?
No,why?
Then what makes you think I would be Russian(rushing)?
When someone's desperate to score
Are you playing soccer now?
No,why?
Then why are you so desperate to score?
When someone's in denial
Are you in Egypt?
No,why?
Sounds like you’re swimming in the nile(denial).
When someone is bald
Is your head a mirror?
No, why?
Then why are you so shiny?
When someone is tall
Are you the Eiffel Tower?
No, why?
Then why are you so tall?
When someone's all covered up
Are you in zit?
No,why?
Then why are you all covered up?
Threatening someone that they're days are numbered
Are you a calender?
No,why?
Because your days are numbered!
When someone looks down on you
Are you looking at me over a tall building?
No,why?
Then why are you looking down on me?
When someone's checking you out
Are you working as a cashier?
No,why?
Then why are you checking me out?
When someone fucks you over
Are you a pornstar?
No,why?
Then why are you fucking me over?
When someone keeps typing
Are you a typewriter?
No,why?
Then why do you keep typing?
When someone keeps hanging beside you
Do we look like a pair of boobs?
No,why?
Stop hanging beside me!
When someone's not making sense..
Are you poor?
No,why?
Then why are you not making any sense(cents)?